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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23548792">Failure to Negotiate</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel'>killerweasel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:22:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>530</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23548792</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Fighting? Flirting? Prolly the same thing.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beelzebub/Gabriel, Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Failure to Negotiate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="inner">
<p></p><div class="entry-content"><p>Title: Failure to Negotiate<br/>
Fandom: Good Omens (TV Series)<br/>
Characters: Beelzebub, Gabriel<br/>
Pairings: Beelzebub/Gabriel<br/>
Word Count: 500<br/>
Rating: PG-13<br/>
A/N: Pre-series<br/>
Summary: Fighting? Flirting? Prolly the same thing.</p><p> </p><p>
      <a id="cutid1" name="cutid1"></a>
    </p><p> </p><p>"Fuck thizzz, we aren't going to get anywhere. You angelzzz are too high and mighty to bend even a little. Negotiations are done." Beelzebub shoved her chair back and snapped her fingers, vanishing out of the Heavenly board room and appearing in an alley. She proceeded to kick and throw every item she came into contact with, shattering things against the bricks on either side of her. Then she screamed. The sound was enough to make dogs miles away howl in terror, break window panes, and cause children to have nightmares for weeks.</p><p>The sound of sarcastic applause reached her ears. Whirling around, her nails shifted into claws. She narrowed her eyes at Gabriel. The Archangel seemed out of place in a trash-filled alley. He was wrinkling his nose in disgust at the garbage littering the ground. "You really need to leave me alone, you feather-brained azzzhole."</p><p>"Or what? You'll throw some trash at me with those tiny hands of yours?" He scoffed. "I'm not the one who bailed on a negotiation."</p><p>Beelzebub tasted blood in her mouth. Her teeth hand turned to fangs without her even noticing. She growled under her breath as she stalked her way across the alley. "I'll do more than just throw trash. I'll tear you to pieces."</p><p>"Yeah, right." Gabriel shoved her back with his hand before wiping his fingers off on his slacks. "You couldn't take me on your best day, you miniature Prince." With a roar of rage, Beelzebub leapt into the air, slamming her fist into Gabriel's face. The Archangel staggered backward. "That's all you've got? You're losing your touch, Beezy-weezy."</p><p>"I hate you, you arrogant prick." She leapt again, this time twisting her body so her foot collided with Gabriel's temple. He dropped to his knees with a smile on his face.</p><p>"Not as much as I loathe you." He moved faster than she could blink, driving her back across the alley and up against a dumpster. Her back dented the metal as they collided into it. For a moment they were pressed up against one another, breathing hard. Gabriel saw something cross Beelzebub's face. With a smirk, he leaned in and kissed her.</p><p>Beelzebub's fangs tore into Gabriel's tongue and lips as her hands curled around the back of his head. The taste of angelic blood danced on her tongue. Bringing her legs up, she wrapped them around the Archangel's waist.</p><p>They pulled apart a few minutes later, panting harshly. She raised an eyebrow. "Zzzeriously? That's what you do in the middle of a fight?" Her claws dug into the sides of his head, threatening to break the skin.</p><p>"If I were human, my grandchildren would have felt that kiss. And you're the one currently wrapped around me like a damn octopus." He licked his split lip. "You want to take this somewhere less... disgusting?"</p><p>"Fine, but don't clean yourzzzelf up first. You look better dirty, Gabriel."</p><p>"So do you."</p><p>With a snap of her fingers, they both vanished.</p></div></div>
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